Friday, November 19, 2004

Novel 9 - Of Nicole Kidman, Jedi Knights, Domino John and Diamond Bay

Nemo is with his owner, Khai (Khairul Nizam Wahi) at a warong (stall) in Pontian, Johor. Khai is approached by the "Malaysian Sarah Brightman" Syafinaz Selamat, who is from the district.
"Great to meet you, Kak Syafinaz," says Khai.
"I'm proud that you are doing well, too, Khai," says Syafinaz.
Syafinaz advises Khai not to allow fame to get into his head, and to always "stay the same".
"Staying the same does not mean not improving one's skills. An entertainer must always find ways to improve himself," says Syafinaz, clutching Khai's hands.
She tells Khai that her own personal experience, a teen pop star in the 1980s who furthered her studies and returned as a polished, adult contemporary vocalist, was a useful lesson for all budding pop stars.
“U gotta bright future ahead of U, Khai. Make full use of it. God willing, you will succeed,” says Syafinaz, who proceeds to give Khai a hug.

In a restaurant in Ampang, near Kuala Lumpur, Atie Abu Bakar and Azza Suaymi are having a drink.
A customer utters a crude Malaysian phrase (“nyamahfulat”, don’t know what it means but it doesn’t sound good) to a restaurant employee.
Atie tells Azza, with a smile: "How rude. Let's fix him."
Azza replies: "Good idea. If anybody tries to take a photo of us at this moment, don't worry. I can delete our images from the photo."
The rude customer receives a jug of tea from the employee.
Atie clicks her hand phone's "voice lock" button and whispers at the hand phone.
She says: "Nemo, give me the power to turn the rude man's drink into Suria Tea (Suriati is her name in full, get it)".
The man pours some tea into his glass, and drinks it. He later finds that he has lost his voice.
Atie and Azza receive a hand phone call from Saipul Bakeri, in Kuching.
He says: "That was really cool, Atie."

An hour later, in the same restaurant, Kaer Azami orders a drink.
He is accompanied by Adam (Mohd Aizam) Mohd Saman.
A chubby 30-something man, Zulkarnain Mohd Taib approaches them.
He happens to be a “Wan” from Kelantan, a descendant of ancient kings of Malaysia’s north-eastern kingdom.
This makes him a distant uncle of Kaer, whose full name is Wan Mohd Khair Wan Azami.
Zulkarnain is a free-lance journalist with wide experience in economic reporting.
He is also pursuing a post-graduate course at University Malaya.
Zulkarnain tells Kaer: “We are all at the cross roads today, my friend. Long, long ago, we were the Jedi Knights who protected the universe from evil.
“But over the centuries, the Dark Side overwhelmed us and turned us into Darth Vaders.
“This happened because we were not careful of the fact that the Dark Side seduces us more than others.
“Today, a great many of us are Darth Vaders, wrecking destruction in the universe. If this sorry state goes on, everybody will suffer at the end of time.
“What I am doing right now, is helping the Jedi Knights rediscover themselves. I am going all out to rebuild the Jedi movement from scratch.
“I am just one man, and there are many others working on this project which has no time limit. God willing, we will succeed.
“We need your moral support, my friends,” Zulkarnain says.
“As your good friend Atie always says, stay on the middle path, for that is where the Jedis live.”
Kaer and Adam thank Zulkarnain for his cryptic but meaningful talk.

Amir Hafizi, a dedicated journalist of The Malay Mail, is having a nap in his office.
He has been working very hard for the whole week, to the extent of sleeping at his desk.
Amir is dreaming of interviewing Avril Lavigne.
At the end of the interview, Avril gives him a passionate hug and kisses both his cheeks.
Rosma Sidik and Bob (Yusrizan) Usop appear in The Malay Mail office while Amir is in dreamland.
Rosma pokes Amir’s belly button, and he jumps out of his chair.
“Mesra!” says Bob.
“Rosma, you have destroyed a beautiful dream of mine,” says Amir.
“Stop dreaming, Amir. We need your help,” says Rosma.
“Yes, could you tell us the real name of Sir Cliff Richard? That’s a question on Era FM, Nana Mahazan’s radio station, which could win us handsome prizes,” says Bob.
Amir gives them the correct answer, Sir Harry Roger Webb.
Rosma calls Nana at Era FM on her hand phone.
Nana tells Rosma that the question has just been answered correctly by Sufiah Mohd Noor.
“Take heart, Rosma and Bob. The prize is a simple one, dinner at a Japanese restaurant with Kaer. Both of you are invited, together with Dina and Zahid.”

Atie and Azza are teleported by Nemo to the beautiful Kuching Waterfront, one of the main attractions of Sarawak’s capital.
They hear a “meow” behind them, and realise it is no kitten, but Saipul Bakeri himself.
“Hi, folks. I’d like you to meet some very special neighbours of ours who live south of Annah Rais (Annah Rais is a famous village of the Bidayuh tribe which counts among its members Anding Zaini),” he says.
Saipul, Atie and Azza proceed to an outdoor cafe in the Waterfront, and are joined by Nurul Hamid, Farah Anuar, Fitri Zainal Abidin, Anding Zaini, Victor Lee, Azizi Mohamad, Vick Teo, Zamil Idris, Fahmy Zakaria, Fazly Zainal, Sahri Sarip and Adi Fashla Juraimi.
And “red hot” Indonesian stars.
Television presenters Sharifah Aleya, Soo Kui Jien, Adam Carruthers, Jason Lo and Phat Fabes of 8TV (Malaysian Idol’s official television station) arrive a little later.
“Hi, Farah! It’s me, the handsome Jien,” says Jien, jokingly.
“Eh, apa ni, Jien. Saya ingat lu model Jepun lah (Oh, I thought U were a Japanese model, Jien),” says Farah, jokingly.
The Indonesian stars congratulate the Akademi Fantasia and Malaysian Idol participants, and also thank the 8TV presenters for a job well done.
The Malaysians also congratulate the Indonesians and wish them all the best in their careers.
The Indonesians cuddle their female friends from AF, and cute Saipul, the sole MI guy who shares Borneo island with them.

Anding says: “I’m so glad to meet my long lost relatives. U rock.”
Dian tells Farah: “We should not let borders divide us. People-to-people contact is good, provided it is for a good purpose.”
Joy says: “I couldn’t agree less.”
Fitri says: “A long, long time ago, we were one country, the Malacca Empire. While we have to adjust to the modern realities, there is nothing wrong with us learning from one another.”
John Tiong of The Malay Mail suddenly turns up. He greets everyone, and tells them about his recent trip to Bali.
“I love Bali. It’s one of the world’s paradise islands,” says the Sibu-born journalist.

Farah tells the Indonesians: “Earlier, I received Raya greetings from your countrymen, Nicolas Saputra, Sam Rizal and Delon Thamrin (Indonesian Idol runner-up). I would love to meet them.”
Dian says: “It’s just a Hotlink away, Farah (Farah and Zahid are models for the Hotlink mobile phone service of Maxis, one of the country’s leading mobile communications companies and a strong supporter of Akademi Fantasia).”

In the heart of Tawau, Sabah’s third largest town, Zahid Baharuddin speaks to Dina Nadzir, Azlee Jaafar, Mazlan Ahmad, Saiful Azam Yusoff and Wahid Mohamad.
They are seated at an open-air food stall, which belongs to the family of Mas Ghani, one of the first Akademi Fantasia stars to congratulate Malaysian Idol champion Jaclyn Victor.
Azlee, Mazlan, Saiful and Wahid are from the popular comedy troupe Senario.
Azlee is a cousin of Dina.
Azlee tells Zahid: “I’m looking at the next big thing in Malaysian entertainment.”
Zahid says: “Hello, I’m trying hard to lose weight. I might not be that big next year.”
Mazlan says: “What Azlee means is, he is confident U will be the next phenomenon in Malaysian entertainment.”
Saiful chips in: “Yeah, a phenomenon like John Travolta.”
Dina says: “Don’t say that, Saiful. Phenomenon a la John Travolta means tragedy.”
Wahid says: “No, John is not a good comparison. Zahid is a peace-loving man who does not do Pulp Fiction.”
Zahid says: “I’d rather have orange pulp. Come, let’s all order fresh orange.”
Dina receives a hand phone call.
She smiles, and hands the phone over to Zahid.
Wahid asks: "Who's that, Zahid?"
Zahid grins at his fellow Perakian, Wahid.
Dina clarifies: "Who else? Misha Omar."

Rueben (Burn) Thevandran appears before Zahid.
“Hello, folks! How was your Raya?” asks Burn.
Zahid replies: “It was back to Diamond Bay (Teluk Intan) for me and family. Visited relatives there, and met some VIPs from the town.”
Dina, Azlee, Mazlan, Saiful and Wahid give almost similar replies about their Raya experiences. Both Dina and Azlee are from Johor Baru, Mazlan is from Alor Star, Saiful is from Kajang, and Wahid is from Ipoh.
Zahid asks Burn: “Cari kak Mas ya (R U looking for Mas?).”
Burn replies: “Yes, and the rest of the gang will be turning up soon.”

Adi Fashla Juraimi and Sahri Sarip appear.
The group congratulates Adi Fashla on being appointed the Green Love Lime Juice advertiser.
They impersonate his dialogue in the advertisement.
Adi says: “Folks, I’d like U to meet Creamy. He’s Mr Zainal Alam Kadir’s departed cat.”
Creamy appears, and the group takes turns to carry him.
Zahid tells Adi Fashla: “Whoopi Goldberg and U have something in common. She was Oda Mae Brown, who could talk to dead humans. U R Addy Green Love, who can talk to dead pussycats.”
Sahri Sarip says: “Sunflower seeds anyone?”
Dina says: “Thanks, Hamster Guy. U rock.”
The group helps themselves to Sahri’s sunflower seeds, a popular health food Down Under.
Sahri says: “Nemo has given me a taste of sunflower seeds, and the power to understand foreign languages.”

Nicole McKibbin and Kimberley Locke appear before the group in Tawau.
Zahid asks Kimberley: “Hi, K Lo! Where’s Clay Aiken?” (Clay and Kimberley are house mates)Kimberley replies: “He’s with Ruben Studdard. Ruben has only started to fly.”
Nicole says: “Come on, Kim. His weight can’t hold Nemo the cat down. Nemo can teleport anybody.”
“Sorry, I was only joking,” says Kimberley.
Mas Ghani appears. She greets the group, including Nicole and Kimberley.
With help from interpreter Burn, Mas asks Nicole: “Nicole, how is Tom Cruise?”
Nicole smiles, and replies: “I met him a few days ago. He’s doing well. And I’m not the Nicole who was married to him, that’s Nicole Kidman from Down Under.”
“Oops! Maaf, kak,” apologises Mas.
Burn tells Nicole: “I think kak Mas mistook U for Nicole Kidman because U now look more beautiful than the Australian star.”
Kimberley whispers to Nicole, and they both smile.
Nicole gives Burn a passionate hug.
She also hugs Mas.
The Cocos Islander cuddles her KL-born interpreter.
Nicole and Kimberley tell the group: “We R so proud to meet the most famous Australian on Malaysian TV this year.”
Zahid asks: “Wow! U guys met Nicole Kidman?”
Nicole and Kimberley reply: “No, it’s the stall owner herself.”

Zahid’s hand phone rings, and he speaks to a budding young artiste from Selayang, near Kuala Lumpur.
Burn tells Zahid: “Let me guess. That is Siti Sarah Raisuddin.”
Zahid says: “Yes, that’s her. And Raisuddin Hamzah himself. They are my family friends.”
Dina asks: “Did the Siti of Sitis (that is Malaysia’s most popular entertainer, the angelic Siti Nurhaliza Taruddin) telephone you?”
Zahid says: “No, but she might be calling Vince Chong.”
Kimberley says: “Vince is a magnet to many beauties. Kelly Clarkson adores him, and so does Fantasia Barrino.”
Zahid adds: “In Malaysia, his biggest admirers are Jaclyn Victor and Linda Nanuwil.”
Burn reminds them: “All this does not mean Vince is a ladies’ man. Far from it. What it means is, Vince is one exceptional guy who has guts.
“Show me any other man with the guts to advertise Kotex.”
Dina tells the group that she received a call from Adibah Noor, the “Aretha Franklin of TV3” (TV3 and 8TV are two television stations under the same flagship).
“Adibah sends her regards to all of U. She would love to star with the Malaysian Idols in TV3 promotional ads.”

Andrew Tan shows up at the Kuching Waterfront with his old school mate Edlin Rahim, Zarina Zainoordin, Liza Ismail and Nija Tahar.
The five of them greet their friends from the Idol Fellowship, the 8TV presenters, and the Indonesians.
Andrew says: “Nija recently took me to the southernmost tip of Asia, Tanjung Piai in Pontian Kecil, and I discovered Nemo’s gift for me there.”
Tanjung Piai is rich in mangrove swamps and is also a haven for fireflies.
Nija says: “Andrew is now the Lord of the Fireflies. He can summon the fireflies to appear any time he wants them to.”
Liza says: “As for Nija, Edlin, Zarina and myself, we now have the power of radiation. If you feel cold, we can keep you warm with a mere touch.”
Edlin says: “It also works this way. I touch a coin, then it traps heat. I pass it around to all of you, and the heat will enter you, and keep you warm.”
Zarina says: “I’d prefer to have the power of heating rather than the power of freezing.”
Andrew says: “Same here.”

Nana Mahazan and Kaer Azami arrive at the Kuching Waterfront.
They greet the group, and congratulate Joy Tobing on winning Indonesian Idol.
A few minutes later, M. Nasir and Tiara Jacquelina, the stars of the film Puteri Gunung Ledang, greet the group.
“Abang Nasir and Kak Tiara, U R both great. I’m so happy to meet U,” says Kaer.
“U both did a good job promoting the crown jewels of Muar, my hometown,” says Nana.
“How’s Mr Zainal Alam Kadir?” asks Nasir.
“He’s doing very well. He met Sting in China last year,” replies Nana.
Anding greets Tiara and sends his warmest regards to her famous spouse Datuk Effendi Norwawi, a family friend of Anding.
“Make good use of what U learn, Anding. The world is your oyster,” says Tiara.
Sufiah Mohamad Noor arrives.
She hugs Kaer and Nana, and introduces herself to the group.
Sufiah says: “Joy, I wish you all the best in World Idol. I’m sure you would click with Malaysian Idol Jaclyn Victor.”

Fahmy and Fazly ask the Indonesians and the stars of Puteri Gunung Ledang how they could be teleported by Nemo.
“Farah can tell U,” says Dian.
Farah explains that Nemo has given her the power of adding individuals to the cat’s teleportable persons list.
She says: “If U want anybody to be teleported to your doorstep, tell me.
Nemo has given me the task of vetting all applications for the teleportable persons list.”
Zamil asks Farah: “Can U bring us Marc Anthony, Luther Vandross and James Ingram?”
Farah replies: “Certainly. But let me remind U that George W. Bush, Tony Blair and John Howard are among the unwelcome persons.”
Victor, who uses Head and Shoulders shampoo in his salon, asks: “What about the owner of P & G, the maker of my favourite shampoo brand? He is said to be a devil-worshipper.”
Farah replies: “He’s in the same boat as Mr Bush.”
Vick asks Victor: “Isn’t this a contradiction? U bar the guy from visiting U, and yet U buy his shampoo and put money into his pocket.”
Victor replies: “If the shampoo is good, there is nothing wrong using it. The company owner may be a sinner, but this does not mean every single one of his staff is a sinner.”
Azizi agrees. He says: “Do U know that most of what we buy in the market is made in the USA which is headed by the war criminal leaders, as Mike Moore describes them?
“If we shut ourselves from goods which are of high quality and are made in the USA, we will not progress in life.”
Victor tells Vick: “Azizi is right. And if we had shut our doors to US goods, we would not have met the lovely American Idols.”

Farah tells the group that she has received quite a number of Hari Raya Aidil Fitri greetings from entertainers around Malaysia.
“It’s like a Who’s Who in Malaysian entertainment,” she says. “It’s a humbling experience.”
Nurul tells Farah: “Today, I received greetings from Dayang Nurfaizah and Dayang Camelia.”
Farah asks: “How lovely. Did they greet Saipul?”
Nurul replies, cuddling her favourite Malaysian Idol contestant: “They told me, take good care of our beloved Adik Saipul. He’s cute as a kitten.”

Two Amirs appear. First, Amir Hafizi, the journalist. Second, Hakim Amir, the man who takes care of Nemo and his mate, Lucky.
Amir Hafizi has Lucky (Nemo’s wife) in his arms.
They are followed close behind, by Rosma and Bob.
And by Diana DeGarmo, Nikki Palikat, Rydee Rahim and Adam Mohd Saman.
The Amirs pass Lucky around the group.
Save Diana, everyone gets to cuddle Lucky.
After a while, Adam, Saipul and Kaer suffer terrible body pains and headaches.
Diana says: “Oh, dear. Guess U guys are allergic to Lucky. Don’t worry, I’ll get Nemo to help U.”
As the sickly Saipul is attended to by Nurul, Farah, Atie and Azza, the sickly Adam by Rydee and Nikki, and the sickly Kaer by Nana and Sufiah, Diana cuddles both Nemo and his mate.
Diana tells Saipul, Adam and Kaer: “Guys, it’s all right now.”
She proceeds to hug Adam and Kaer.
“Some of us may be allergic to Lucky. Once Nemo and Lucky get into my embrace, the poison is gone.”
Adam says: “Di, U take my breath away.”

Rydee tells Adam: "Has the peanut forgotten its shell?"
"Oh, thanks, Rydiana," Adam replies.
"As a matter of fact, I was thanking U, too. Both of U have Diana in your names."
Rydee playfully remarks: "In that case, shouldn't U thank Farah Diana Anuar, too?"
Adam says: "I have, in the Akademi Fantasia TV show."
Nikki tells Diana: "You must have a great love for rabbits. The Sugar Bun bunny included."
Diana replies: "I've been reading the greatest rabbit novel around, Watership Down, by Richard Adams."
"That's me," says Adam.
"Hush," says Rydee, smacking Adam affectionately.

At Mas’ family stall in Tawau, the group is joined by Vince Chong, Jaclyn Victor, Linda Nanuwil, Khai, Ruben Studdard, Clay Aiken, Justin Guarini, Kelly Clarkson, Jasmine Trias and Fantasia Barrino.
Kelly tells the group: “Any minute now, John will be turning up.”
Burn asks: “U mean John Tiong?”
Kelly replies: “No, John Stevens.”
Zahid asks Vince: “Hello, Vince. I hear quite a few beauties have sent U Christmas greetings over the last week.”
Vince says: “Yes, there was Explorace’s Daphne Iking, Pillow Talk’s Jojo Struys and of course, Siti Nurhaliza, our fellow Hotlink advertiser.”
Jaclyn chips in: “Vincey has been hugged by these beauties, with the exception of Siti, of course.”
“Why do U have to tell us this, Jac?” sighs Vince.
“It’s just for fun, Kor,” says the adoring Linda, holding Vince’s hand.
Zahid tells Khai: “Did U visit Singapore recently for the American Idol concert?”
Khai says: “I got an invite from Jas, but too bad I was busy with my latest film.”
Fantasia tells Vince: “Latoya London sends her greetings to U, Vincey. She would love to cuddle U.”
“That’s our Vincey. The most cuddly Malaysian of the year,” says Jac, cuddling Vince.

John Stevens appears before the group. He says: “Hi, folks. How’s life?”
They all greet John, and send their regards to his close friends John Peter Lewis and George Huff.

John Tiong says goodbye to the group in Kuching Waterfront.
“It’s so nice hanging out with U guys,” he says.
“Anding and Bob, I’d love to have dinner with U at Mukah Seafood in Ban Hock Road.”
Anding and Bob tell John that they would be free the coming week.
“Johnny!” screams Farah. “What about me?”
(Farah is very close to the Akademi Fantasia studio camera which is nicknamed Johnny. Coincidentally, Johnny is the nickname of John Tiong, too)
Jien tells Farah: “Like to join me for dinner at Bangsar’s newest shopping centre, Farah Diana Anuar?”
Farah replies: “Certainly. I’m free next week, Soo Kui Jien.”
Jien says: “Marion Caunter and Rina Omar will be there. They send their Hari Raya greetings to U and family.”



BAHASA MALAYSIA VERSION

Novel 9 - Nicole Kidman, Pahlawan Jedi, Domino John & Teluk Intan

Nemo dan Khai berada di sebuah warong di Pontian, Johor.
Khai sedang berbual dengan “Sarah Brightman Malaysia” iaitu Syafinaz Selamat, dari daerah itu.
“U memang hebat, Kak Syafinaz,” kata Khai.
“Kak bangga dengan pencapaian Khai juga,” kata Syafinaz.
Syafinaz menasihati Khai supaya sentiasa merendah diri.
“Juga, seseorang penghibur mesti sentiasa berusaha untuk meningkatkan ilmunya dan menambah kualiti dalam persembahannya,” kata Syafinaz, sambil memegang tangan Khai.
Syafinaz menasihati Khai dan semua artis baru supaya belajar dari pengalaman hidupnya.
Syafinaz pada mulanya seorang penyanyi pop muda-mudi dalam sebuah kumpulan yang tidak berapa terkenal.
Kemudian dia melanjutkan pelajarannya dalam bidang muzik dan kembali menyanyi sebagai seorang vokalis yang mantap.
Katanya kepada Khai: “Adik Khai mempunyai masa depan yang cerah. Berusahalah untuk mempertingkatkan mutu nyanyian dan persembahan.
God willing, you will succeed,” kata Syafinaz.
Syafinaz memeluk Khai dan Nemo.

Di sebuah restoran di Ampang, Atie dan Azza sedang minum.
Seorang pelanggan restoran menghina seorang staf restoran dengan kata-kata yang kasar dan lucah.
Atie berkata kepada Azza, sambil tersenyum: “Biadap sungguh orang tu. Mari kita kerjakannya.”
Azza berkata: “Good idea. Tak ada siapa yang boleh tangkap gambar kita. Azza ada power untuk delete imej kita dari foto.”
Pelanggan yang tak bersopan itu menerima sebuah bekas berisi teh ais dari staf restoran.
Atie menekan butang “voice lock” pada HPnya.
Katanya: “Nemo, tolong tukar teh ais itu kepada Suria Tea (Suriati ialah nama Atie).
Pelanggan itu menuangkan minuman itu ke dalam gelasnya dan terus meminumnya.
Tak lama kemudian, suaranya hilang.
Atie dan Azza menerima panggilan HP dari Saipul Bakeri, di Kuching.
Katanya: “Wow! U memang cool, Kak Atie.”

Sejam kemudian, Kaer dan Adam datang ke restoran untuk minum.
Seorang lelaki berumur lewat 30-an dan agak berisi datang ke meja mereka.
Namanya Zulkarnain Taib.
Dia seorang “Wan” dari Kelantan, yang berdarah raja-raja Kelantan.
Dia juga seorang saudara jauh kepada Kaer, yang nama penuhnya Wan Mohd Khair Wan Azami.
Zulkarnain berkata kepada Kaer: “Kita semua berada di persimpangan jalan hari ni. Pada zaman dulu, kita semua adalah Pahlawan Jedi yang melindungi alam ni dari kejahatan.
“Tetapi lama kelamaan, Kejahatan telah menguasai kita dan kita semua menjadi Darth Vader.
“Ini semua berlaku sebab kita cuai, dan lupa bahawa hati kita amat mudah dikuasai oleh Kejahatan.
“Hari ni, terlalu ramai orang kita sudah jadi Darth Vader, dan melakukan berbagai jenis kejahatan di dunia ni.
“Jika senario sedih ni berterusan, seluruh umat manusia akan menderita di akhir zaman.
“Abang kini sedang berusaha membantu kita semua untuk kembali ke pangkal jalan dan membina semula Pahlawan Jedi kita yang tercinta.
“Abang hanya seorang saja, tapi ada ramai lagi orang kita yang berusaha gigih untuk membina semula Pahlawan Jedi di dunia ni. God willing, kita akan berjaya.
“Kami perlukan sokonganmu, saudara.
“U punya kawan baik, Atie sentiasa berkata, amalkan kesederhanaan dalam hidup. Dengarlah nasihatnya.”

Kaer dan Adam mengucapkan terima kasih kepada Zulkarnain dan berkata bahawa ceramahnya amat bermakna.

Amir Hafizi, wartawan The Malay Mail yang penuh dedikasi, sedang tidur di pejabatnya.
Dia telah bekerja keras tujuh hari seminggu, sehingga tertidur di atas mejanya.Amir bermimpi menginterbiu Avril Lavigne.
Dia bermimpi, Avril memeluk dan menciumnya setelah tamatnya interbiu dengan penyanyi jelita dari Kanada itu.
Rosma Sidik dan Bob (Yusrizan) Usop muncul di The Malay Mail ketika Amir sedang tidur.
Rosma mencucuk pusat Amir dengan jarinya. Amir terjaga dari tidur.
“Mesra!” kata Bob.
“Rosma, U sudah hancurkan sebuah mimpi indahku,” kata Amir.
“Stop dreaming, Amir. Kami perlukan abang punya bantuan” kata Rosma.
“Ya, bolehkah abang bagi tahu kami apa nama sebenar Sir Cliff Richard? Ini satu soalan kuiz dari Nana di Era.FM, yang boleh buatkan kita menang hadiah istimewa,” kata Bob.
Amir memberikan jawapan yang tepat iaitu Sir Harry Roger Webb.
Rosma menelefon Nana di Era.FM.
Nana berkata bahawa Sufiah Mohd Noor telahpun menjawab soalan itu dan memenangi hadiah istimewa.
“Tak apa, Rosma dan Bob.
Hadiah itu ialah makan malam bersama Kaer di restoran Jepun. Anda berdua dijemput.
Begitu juga Dina dan Zahid.”

Atie dan Azza dihantar oleh Nemo ke Kuching Waterfront.
Mereka mendengar bunyi “meow” di belakang mereka.
Bunyi itu bukan datangnya dari seekor anak kucing tetapi dari Saipul.
“Hi, Kak Atie dan Kak Azza. Saipul mau kak berdua jumpa kawan istimewa dari selatan Kampung Annah Rais (Annah Rais ialah sebuah kampung suku kaum Bidayuh iaitu saudara-mara Anding Zaini),” kata Saipul.

Saipul, Atie dan Azza duduk di sebuah kafe terbuka di Waterfront.
Mereka diikuti oleh Nurul Hamid, Farah Anuar, Fitri Zainal Abidin, Anding Zaini, Victor Lee, Azizi Mohamad, Vick Teo, Zamil Idris, Fahmy Zakaria, Fazly Zainal, Sahri Sarip dan Adi Fashla Juraimi.
Dan juga bintang Indonesia yang terhangat.
Hos 8TV Sharifah Aleya, Soo Kui Jien, Adam Carruthers, Jason Lo dan Phat Fabes muncul di depan mereka.
“Hi, Farah! It’s me, the handsome Jien,” kata Jien secara lawak.
“Eh, apa ni, Jien. Saya ingat lu model Jepun lah,” kata Farah secara lawak.
Bintang dari Indonesia itu mengucapkan tahniah dan selamat maju jaya kepada rakan mereka dari Malaysia, dan juga kepada hos-hos 8TV.
Artis dan hos Malaysia turut mengucapkan tahniah dan selamat maju jaya kepada artis Indonesia.
Artis Indonesia memeluk rakan wanita mereka dari AF, dan juga memeluk Saipul (dengan persetujuan kakak angkatnya, Nurul).

Anding berkata: “Saya amat berbangga dapat jumpa saudaraku yang jauh. U rock.”
Dian berkata kepada Farah: “Sempadan tak harus pisahkan kita. Rakyat Malaysia dan Indonesia harus bersahabat baik, asalkan kedua pihak berniat baik.”
Joy berkata: “Saya memang setuju.”
Fitri berkata: “Pada zaman dulu, kita ni satu negara, iaitu Empayar Melaka.
Tapi kini zaman dah berubah. Ini tak sepatutnya menghalang rakyat kedua-dua negara untuk berinteraksi dan belajar dari pengalaman masing-masing.”

John Tiong dari The Malay Mail muncul secara tiba-tiba.
Dia mengirim salam kepada semua rakannya dari Malaysia dan Indonesia, dan kemudian menceritakan pasal percutiannya di Bali.

Farah berkata kepada artis Indonesia: “Beberapa hari yang lalu saya terima kad Raya dari U punya kawan, Nicolas Saputra, Sam Rizal dan Delon Thamrin (naib juara Indonesian Idol).
Farah ingin jumpa mereka.”
Dian berkata: “Hotlink boleh bantu Farah (Farah dan Zahid adalah model iklan servis Hotlink. Servis itu ialah produk Maxis, sebuah syarikat komunikasi mobil yang utama di Malaysia dan juga penaja konsert Akademi Fantasia).”

Di Tawau, bandar ketiga terbesar di Sabah, Zahid sedang berbual dengan Dina Nadzir, Azlee Jaafar, Mazlan Ahmad, Saiful Azam Yusoff dan Wahid Mohamad. Mereka berada di sebuah warung sate milik keluarga Mas Ghani.
Azlee, Mazlan, Saiful dan Wahid adalah anggota kumpulan komedi Senario.
Azlee adalah sepupu Dina.
Azlee berkata kepada Zahid: “Saya rasa adik bakal jadi orang paling besar dalam dunia hiburan Melayu Malaysia tak lama lagi.”
Zahid berkata: “Hello, saya kini sedang berusaha mengurangkan berat badan lah.”
Mazlan berkata: “Maksud Azlee ialah, Zahid bakal menjadi fenomena dalam industri hiburan tanah air.”
Saiful (Apek) berkata: “Yeah, fenomena macam John Travolta.”
Dina berkata: “Don’t say that, Saiful. Phenomenon a la John Travolta means tragedy.”
Wahid berkata: “Tak boleh bandingkan dengan John. Zahid ni pencinta kedamaian, dan tak suka buat mafia punya kerja semacam John di Pulp Fiction.”
Zahid berkata: “I lebih suka “orange pulp”. Mari kita semua order fresh oren.”

Dina menerima panggilan HP.
Dia tersenyum, dan memberikan HPnya kepada Zahid.
Wahid bertanya: “Siapa tu, Zahid?”
Zahid tersenyum sambil memandang ke arah muka Wahid, rakan senegerinya dari Perak.
Dina berkata: “Siapa lagi? Misha Omar.”(Zahid dan Dina adalah peminat setia Misha)

Rueben (Burn) Thevandran muncul di depan Zahid.
“Hello, folks! How was your Raya?” tanya Burn.
Zahid menjawab: “Saya balik ke Diamond Bay (Teluk Intan) bersama keluarga. Kami lawat saudara-mara dan sahabat handai serta VIP.”
Dina, Azlee, Mazlan, Saiful dan Wahid juga menceritakan pengalaman Hari Raya mereka. Dina dan Azlee berasal dari Johor Baru, Mazlan dari Alor Star, Saiful dari Kajang dan Wahid dari Ipoh.
Zahid berkata kepada Burn: “Cari kak Mas ya.”
Burn berkata: “Ya, dan member kita yang lain bakal muncul.”

Adi Fashla Juraimi dan Sahri Sarip muncul.
Member IF dan Senario di warung sate mengucapkan tahniah kepada Adi Fashla yang baru sahaja dilantik sebagai duta minuman jus limau Green Love.
Mereka melakonkan dialognya yang lucu dalam iklan TV.
Adi berkata: “Ini dia Creamy. Dia ni adalah kucing milik Zainal Alam Kadir.”
Creamy muncul dan kesemua member IF dan Senario mendukungnya.
Zahid berkata kepada Adi Fashla: “Whoopi Goldberg dan Adi ada satu persamaan. Dalam filem “Ghost”, dia membawa watak Oda Mae Brown, yang boleh cakap dengan hantu manusia.
Adi sekarang bergelar Addy Green Love, yang boleh cakap dengan hantu kucing.”
Sahri Sarip berkata: “Sunflower seeds anyone?”
Dina berkata: “Thanks, Hamster Guy. U rock.”
Mereka semua memakan biji bunga matahari milik Sahri. Biji bunga matahari banyak khasiatnya.
Sahri berkata: “Nemo bagi saya keinginan untuk makan biji bunga matahari. Dia juga bagi saya kuasa untuk memahami semua bahasa di dunia.”

Nicole McKibbin dan Kimberley Locke muncul di gerai sate Mas di Tawau.
Zahid bertanya kepada Kimberley: “Hi, K Lo! Where’s Clay Aiken?” (Clay dan Kimberley duduk serumah)
Kimberley menjawab: “He’s with Ruben Studdard. Ruben has only started to fly.”
Nicole berkata: “Come on, Kim. His weight can’t hold Nemo the cat down. Nemo can teleport anybody.”
“Sorry, I was only joking,” kata Kimberley.
Mas Ghani muncul. Dia mengirim salam kepada semua pelanggan gerainya dari IF dan Senario.
Dengan bantuan juru bahasanya, Burn, Mas bertanya kepada Nicole: “Nicole, macam mana Tom Cruise?”
Nicole tersenyum, dan menjawab: “I met him a few days ago. He’s doing well. And I’m not the Nicole who was married to him, that’s Nicole Kidman from Down Under.”
“Oops! Maaf, kak,” kata Mas.
Burn berkata kepada Nicole: “I think kak Mas mistook U for Nicole Kidman because U now look more beautiful than the Australian star.”
Kimberley membisikkan sesuatu kepada Nicole, dan mereka berdua tersenyum.
Nicole memeluk Burn dan Mas.
Mas kemudian memeluk Nicole serta Burn.
Nicole dan Kimberley berkata: “We R so proud to meet the most famous Australian on Malaysian TV this year.”
Zahid bertanya: “Wow! U guys met Nicole Kidman?”
Nicole dan Kimberley menjawab: “No, it’s the stall owner herself.”

HP Zahid berbunyi. Dia pun berbual dengan seorang artis muda dari Selayang.
Burn berkata kepada Zahid: “Let me guess. That is Siti Sarah Raisuddin.”
Zahid berkata: “Ya, itu Siti Sarah dan bapanya Raisuddin Hamzah.
Mereka kawan keluarga saya.”
Dina bertanya: “Did the Siti of Sitis (Siti Nurhaliza Taruddin) telephone you?”
Zahid menjawab: “Tidak, tapi dia mungkin call Vince.”
Kimberley berkata: “Vince is a magnet to many beauties. Kelly Clarkson adores him, and so does Fantasia Barrino.”
Zahid menambah: “Di Malaysia, dia amat diminati oleh Jaclyn Victor dan Linda Nanuwil.”
Burn berkata: “Abang Vince bukan playboy tau. Dia seorang gentleman yang diminati oleh wanita kerana kecantikan luaran dan dalamannya.
“Show me any other man who dares to advertise Kotex.”
Dina berkata bahawa Adibah Noor ataupun “Aretha Franklin TV3” baru menelefonnya.
“Adibah sends her regards to all of U. She would love to star with the Malaysian Idols in TV3 advertisements.”

Andrew Tan muncul di Kuching Waterfront bersama rakan sekolahnya Edlin Rahim, serta Zarina Zainoordin, Liza Ismail dan Nija Tahar.
Mereka berlima mengirim salam kepada member IF, hos 8TV dan artis Indonesia.
Andrew berkata: “Nija recently took me to the southernmost tip of Asia, Tanjung Piai in Pontian Kecil, and I discovered Nemo’s gift for me there.”
Tanjung Piai adalah kawasan paya bakau dan sarang kelip-kelip.
Nija berkata: “Andrew kini ialah Raja Kelip-Kelip. Dia boleh panggil kelip-kelip muncul pada bila-bila masa.”
Liza berkata: “Nija, Edlin, Zarina dan saya kini ada kuasa untuk panaskan kamu semua. Jika U mau jadi panas, kita hanya kena sentuh U.”
Edlin berkata: “Kita juga boleh panaskan U dengan menyentuh sekeping duit logam. Bila U semua pegang duit logam tu, U akan jadi panas.”
Zarina berkata: “Saya lebih suka kuasa api daripada kuasa ais.”
Andrew berkata: “Same here.”

Nana Mahazan dan Kaer Azami muncul di Kuching Waterfront.
Mereka mengirim salam kepada kesemua rakan artis mereka, serta mengucapkan tahniah kepada Joy Tobing.
Beberapa minit kemudian, M. Nasir dan Tiara Jacquelina, bintang filem Puteri Gunung Ledang, muncul dan mengirim salam kepada artis dan hos Malaysia, serta artis Indonesia.
“Abang Nasir and Kak Tiara, U R both great. I’m so happy to meet U,” kata Kaer.
“Abang dan kak memang hebat mempromosi ikon daerah Muar, kampung halamanku, iaitu Gunung Ledang,” kata Nana.
“How’s Mr Zainal Alam Kadir?” tanya Nasir.
“He’s doing very well. Dia jumpa Sting di China tahun lalu,” jawab Nana.
Anding mengirim salam kepada Tiara serta suaminya Datuk Effendi Norwawi, kawan keluarga Anding yang juga berasal dari Mukah (kampung asal bapa Anding).
“Make good use of what U learn, Anding. The world is your oyster,” kata Tiara.

Sufiah Mohamad Noor muncul.
Dia memeluk Kaer dan Nana, dan mengirim salam kepada member IF, artis dan hos Malaysia dan artis Indonesia.
Sufiah berkata: “Joy, I wish you all the best in World Idol. I’m sure you would click with Malaysian Idol Jaclyn Victor.”

Fahmy dan Fazly bertanya kepada artis Indonesia dan pelakon Puteri Gunung Ledang macam mana Nemo boleh teleport mereka.
“Farah boleh terangkan,” kata Dian.
Farah berkata bahawa Nemo memberinya kuasa untuk menambah individu ke dalam senarai orang yang boleh di-teleport oleh kucing itu.
Katanya: “Jika U mau seseorang diberi kemudahan teleport, bagi tau Farah.
Nemo suruh saya luluskan semua permohonan untuk teleport seseorang.”
Zamil bertanya kepada Farah: “Can U bring us Marc Anthony, Luther Vandross and James Ingram?”
Farah menjawab: “Sudah tentu. Tapi Farah nak bagi tau U bahawa George W. Bush, Tony Blair dan John Howard tak boleh di-teleport.”
Victor, yang menggunakan syampu Head And Shoulders di salonnya, bertanya: “What about the owner of P & G, the maker of my favourite shampoo brand? He is said to be a devil-worshipper.”
Farah menjawab: “Dia tu sama saja dengan Mr Bush.”
Vick bertanya kepada Victor: “Isn’t this strange? U bar the guy from visiting U, and yet U buy his shampoo and put money into his pocket.”
Victor menjawab: “If the shampoo is good, there is nothing wrong using it. The company owner may be a devil, but this does not mean every single one of his staff is a devil.”
Azizi bersetuju. Katanya: “Kebanyakan barang yang kita beli ni adalah dari USA yang diperintah oleh War Criminal, sepertimana yang disebutkan oleh Michael Moore dalam filem Fahrenheit 911.
“Kita harus bersikap realistik. Jika kita tak ada barang yang berkualiti, kita kena beli dari USA. Hanya tu barang yang kita tak perlukan dari mereka, kita tolak.”
Victor berkata: “Memang betul kata Azizi. And if we had shut our doors to US goods, we would not have met the lovely American Idols.”

Farah berkata dia banyak menerima kad Raya ataupun SMS Raya dari artis Malaysia.
“Hampir kesemua artis yang muncul dalam majalah dan surat khabar yang kirim kad atau SMS kepada Farah.”
Nurul berkata: “Hari ni, kamek terima kad Raya dari Dayang Nurfaizah dan Camelia.”
Farah berkata: “Bestnya. Adakah mereka kirim salam Aidilfitri kepada Saipul?”
Nurul berkata, sambil memeluk Saipul, adik kesayangannya: “Mereka bagi tau kamek, tolong jaga Adik Saipul baik-baik. Dia tu memang comel macam anak kucing.”

Amir Hafizi muncul bersama penjaga Nemo iaitu Hakim Amir.
Amir Hafizi mendukung Lucky, bini Nemo.
Mereka diikuti oleh Rosma, Bob, Diana DeGarmo, Nikki Palikat, Rydee Rahim dan Adam.
Amir Hafizi dan Hakim Amir memberikan Lucky kepada semua artis dan hos Malaysia serta artis Indonesia yang bersembang di Waterfront.
Tak lama kemudian, Adam, Saipul dan Kaer berasa amat sakit dan pening.
Diana berkata: “Oh, dear. Guess U guys are allergic to Lucky. Don’t worry, I’ll get Nemo to help U.”
Saipul dipeluk oleh Nurul, Farah, Atie dan Azza. Adam dipeluk oleh Rydee dan Nikki. Kaer dipeluk oleh Nana dan Sufiah.
Diana memegang Nemo dan Lucky dan membisikkan sesuatu kepada kucing-kucing itu.
Diana kemudian memeluk Adam dan Kaer.
Diana berkata kepada Saipul, Adam dan Kaer: “Guys, it’s all right now.
“Some of us may be allergic to Lucky. Once I get hold of Nemo and Lucky, the poison is gone.”

Adam berkata: “Diana, U memang seksi dan cool.”
Rydee berkata: “Eh, eh! Adik ni macam kacang lupakan kulit lah!”
“Diana tu maksudnya Rydiana juga,” kata Adam.
Rydee bertanya secara lawak: “Macam mana dengan Farah Diana Anuar?”
Adam menjawab: “Farah Diana tu, Adam dah kata, adalah favourite Adam di AF. Di AI, favourite Adam ialah Diana DeGarmo.
Favourite Adam di MI ialah kak sendiri.”
Nikki berkata kepada Diana: “You must have a great love for rabbits. The Sugar Bun bunny included.”
Diana berkata: “I’ve been reading the greatest rabbit novel around, Watership Down, by Richard Adams.”
“Saya lah tu,” kata Adam.
“Sayang, tolong diam sikit,” kata Rydee.

Di gerai sate Mas, Vince Chong, Jaclyn Victor, Linda Nanuwil, Khai, Ruben Studdard, Clay Aiken, Justin Guarini, Kelly Clarkson, Jasmine Trias dan Fantasia Barrino muncul.
Kelly berkata: “Any minute now, John will be turning up.”
Burn bertanya: “U mean John Tiong?”
Kelly menjawab: “No, John Stevens.”
Zahid berkata: “Hello, Vince. Zahid dengar U dapat banyak kad Krismas dari jelitawan Malaysia minggu lalu.”
Vince berkata: “Yes, there was Explorace’s Daphne Iking, Pillow Talk’s Jojo Struys and of course, Siti Nurhaliza, our fellow Hotlink advertiser.”
Jaclyn berkata: “Vincey has been hugged by these beauties, with the exception of Siti, of course.”
“Why do U have to tell us this, Jac?” kata Vince.
“Kak gurau saja, Kor,” kata Linda, sambil memegang tangan Vince.
Zahid bertanya kepada Khai: “Abang ada lawat Singapura untuk konsert AI tak?”
Khai menjawab: “Kak Jasmine ada jemput Khai, tapi Khai sibuk dengan shooting filem.”
Fantasia berkata kepada Vince: “Latoya London sends her greetings to U, Vincey. She would love to cuddle U.”
“That’s our Vincey. The most cuddly Malaysian of the year,” kata Jac, sambil memeluk Vince.

John Stevens muncul. Dia berkata: “Hi, folks. How’s life?”
Mereka semua mengirim salam kepada John, dan juga kawannya dari AI iaitu John Peter Lewis dan George Huff.

John Tiong mengucapkan selamat malam kepada kawan-kawannya di Kuching Waterfront.
“It’s so nice hanging out with U guys,” katanya.
“Anding and Bob, I’d love to have dinner with U at Mukah Seafood in Ban Hock Road.”
Anding dan Bob berkata kepada John bahawa mereka “free” pada minggu depan.
“Johnny!” teriak Farah. “Macam mana dengan Farah?”
Jien bertanya kepada Farah: “Like to join me for dinner at Bangsar’s newest shopping centre, Farah Diana Anuar?”
Farah menjawab: “Boleh jugak. I’m free next week, Soo Kui Jien.”
Jien berkata: “Marion Caunter and Rina Omar will be there. They send their Hari Raya greetings to U and family.”

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